Tuesday, January 12, 2010
After been sobbing over my 'O' level results, I need to learn to look at it in God's perspective. He has a greater plan for me, a place for me to go.
When I first heard my results, I was terribly disappointed. I told God I need to get less than 20 points but eventually I got 23 points which really saddens me tremendously because most of the courses that I like is around 18 points.
I was emotionless. I had nothing to say and really speechless. All in my mind was "Why..." I felt that I failed my expectations, I felt so unjustified. I tried my very best and I got 23 points.
I compared my results to others and thought to myself, "Why can't I be like them?" Others who got the points like 14 to 17 were still not satisfied and the process of the hurt was like adding "Salt to my Wound."
I spoke to Isaac Teh on January 12 of 2010 and what he spoke to me really impacted me tremendously. He told me that "Do not do things just to get accepted, but do things because you are already accepted." That really spoke to me a lot because God accepts each and everyone of us, failures and sinners.
He said that Chrisitianity is a relationship that no one religion can substitudes. He accepts all and forgave all before who come to Him. Isn't that great!? Many of us think by doing lots of good deeds and through our works, we can cover up our sins but that is wrong. Nothing can cover our sins except the blood of Jesus Christ.
He also told me what the world defined as 'Good.' To be good in life is to be successful, to be rich, to have all the things you want in life, to have a good family and good children and etc. But all these things will fade away. In blibical terms, 'Good' is only defined as purity, Holy, righteous, clean, etc. No one is good at all, not one except God.
But seek first His kingdom and righteousness, and all these will be given to you as well.
Matthew 6:33
He taught me that what does it really mean seek first His kingdom. Does it mean to serve God more? Do things more for God?
Seek first His kingdom actually means to spend time reading God's word and dwelling in His presence. It is not by how much we serve or how we serve or what we serve. It is how much we are spending time with God. God will provide for you to survive on Earth. He will not forsake you or leave you.
I also learnt how to serve in the right attitude, in out of love and not out to gain recognitions from people. Sometimes when we serve, we get carried away and would want to show off to others. The Holy Spirit will convict us how to serve in the right attitude.
Do not serve just to gain recognition from others, but serve out of love and also know you are already accepted.
Indeed I have to thank God for sending a spiritual mentor in guiding me in my Christian walk with God and also that I can grow more in God. Thank you Isaac Teh for spending time with me, in helping me to grow spiritually and also that really really thank you so much for everything. You've been a great spiritual mentor to me that I will never forget. God bless you in everything you do!
Labels: Thanksgiving to God despite difficult times...
--God Is Good--
1/12/2010 10:09:00 PM
Wednesday, January 06, 2010
REAL camp was a great experience for me, or rather for everyone. I joined REAL program because I want to draw closer to God, to be real and authentic in my worship towards Him and to be real towards my friends in my character.
I went for the REAL camp and I was rather changed someway in another, in my services and maybe my expectations. We were given targets to do such as '3 expectations we want to achieve.'
My first expectation is that I want to be real and authentic in worshipping God and seeking Him ernestly. Secondly, I want to know the real 'me' because it seems I am still having that identity crisis. Thirdly, I really want to learn to let go everything and surrender to God.
Although some of my expectations are still in progress, I am determined to make changes to really want glorify God. It is a healing process when we lay down everything at the cross, saying that we trust in Him alone, Jesus Christ our hope and saviour. What I've also learnt is that being a mature Christian is not how long have we been a Christian but is how much we know the Bible well and our relationship with God.
Most of the times, I am sensitive and have those 'rollercoaster' emotions. It really hinders my relationship with God and to my peers too. I need to motivate and take discipline to read the Word of God too or else I am just hearer but not a doer of what God wants me to do.
I also learnt that when we do actions, we are not doing to gain the favour from men by the favour from God. I think as Christians too, we don't want to live a life or just being 'fake.' I mean, we want to be genuine in talk to our fellow Christian friends about our problems but always we put it aside because we think its either a waste of time or they won't understand. But if we never talk it out, it will just even devastate you more.
Always keep the main thing the main thing. Sometimes we are so caught up with so many things that we forget the main thing. Let's not forget what the main objective of why Jesus Christ came. To set us free and save us from the clutches of the penalty of sins; death. The purpose of why we are here, is to tell others the Gospel and bring them to Christ.
During devotions, I also learnt in Job 38 that God has shown His awesomeness in His creating the creations. It also shows that man cannot create the things of God such as the moon and the stars.
I also linked up with Genesis 2:7 (Where it says that we are dust) while Job 42:5-6 (It says that repent in dust & ashes) This shows that from dust we are created, dust we return. It shows are insignificant we are, being made from dust but God gave us so much and wants us to be involved in His plans.
From Job 38-42, I learnt that after God spoke so much to Job, about His majestic control over the universe and the ability to create, then why must we worry about our circumstances rather than allowing God to handle it? Is it because we are afraid God do not know how to deal with it or unsure whether God will help us? How about those minor issues? In fact, God wants to know everything in our lives.
Psalm 50 where it says everything belongs to God. Do you somehow see that how God answered Job and how the psalmist wrote his passage. It all talks about the creations that God has created. It shows God awesomeness power to do things and it points us to one thing, God is in control of everything. Amen!
God is soverign over everything and we need to learn to see things in a big picture. We should not complain but pray and ask God to show us understanding & wisdom.
Lastly about Authenticity, it is accepting someone in totality and which also means to accept the person's background.
What exactly is authenticity then?
-If we are not authentic, we are like kissing a glass; a barrier that prevents us from being truthful. It's like a surface to surface thing rather than core to core.
When technologies evovled, it caused everyone to be connected but actually we are very disconnected as we are not very sincere. When we see someone online in msn, we will usually ask them "how are you" which then they will reply "ok" and put a smiley face at the end. It shows how authentic our conversation can be, we can't be bothered to really care about others.
Nothing is more personal than meeting up and which then, the generation of younger ones does not know the importance of what it means to meet up to chat.
We are also insecure and we will try to do something to get peoples' attention. How much of us do we want to reveal to others? In love, confront the person in truth. Love people, use things, not love things, use people. Ministry is about ministering to one another, it's all about people. Without people, there is no ministry.
We have to run to God first before running to others. Minister to others.
Proverbs 10:12
Hatred stirs up dissension , but love covers all wrongs.
Labels: REAL camp summary
--God Is Good--
1/06/2010 09:08:00 PM
